Gusto kong tumakbo

Ika nga sabi ni micheal jackson "love is strong it only cares for joyful giving", gusto kong maniwala, pero minsan parang niloloko ko lang ang sarili ko. No matter what, minsan ang criticism talaga ay nakakamatay. Bakit kasi di ako pinanganak na gwapo, feeling super pangit ako. Ou, alam kung weather-weather lang ang buhay pero pati ba naman itsura ko nasali na rin, minsan nga nakukuha lang akong tingnan depende sa ilaw na naka-direct sa balat ko incandescent ba o flourescent. In addition pa dun, yung kalat, mess-up ang buhok ko. Dala ba sa sobrang tiwala na shiny ko na buhok o sadyang oily ito. Its true, somebody's opinion should not be your basis as reality and its true also that reality is a conventional practice or phenomenon accepted by the society. Kaya nga siguro ang dami-daming nababaliw kasi lahat gawa lang ng tao. Kaya minsan mas masarap ang feeling pag-ikaw lang mag-isa, walang kumokontra at bida ka pa...

22nd Chapter of the Book

Well, well...after all that had happened, its the same story pa rin, but honestly, this chapter seems to be more silent. very silent indeed. Though I dont find any serenity on it. Siguro nga, dahil sa walang tumawag, pero parang ok lang. After all, I'm the reason bakit naging ganito ka boring ang buhay ko. (Sigh)... Is there a chance na mabalik yung dating panahon, I feel the guilt that I should have appreciate it more instead of creating hatred, criticism and negativism. But I want them to reach out, Gusto ko palagi silang magreach out, I know that its impossible but I just cant help it. Buti pa ang ibang tao na di related sa yo, naalala nila, buti pa yung relatives ko, buti pa yung step dad ko, pero yung kaisa-isa kung pamilya, ewan ko na lang... but anyway why should I spent my time thinking of unecessary things na I'm on my own now... Stupid kung iisipin but I have to accept that things even a blood relative, your mom that is, has its own ending and limitations. Too bad, I lost mine, maybe that is the consequence of practicing my prerogative, freedom to choose ones happiness and likes, It sounds selfish yet the contemporary reality agrees with it.

Whew! para bang nabunutan ako ng tinik after I pass the PRC requirements for my cases. I never thought na makakapasa ako but still this is not the time to celebrate, I'm not sure kung matatanggap ba yun or I need to revised that freaking sheets of papers! Wow naman, after all this time, feeling ko I can relax a bit and breathe some fresh air (bongga!). Kaya for now, I have to make sure that I make some follow on my cases and hopefully di ko kailangang magrevised